Member News
After a 'zombie government' and a 'parliament of the living dead', voters are being urged to recognise the need to support the rights of the undead.
While Conservative and Labour politicians are looking over their shoulder at the apparent surge in Liberal Democrat support, they should also avoid falling victim to pro-zombie candidates.
A new political party dedicated to the rights of the undead is so far fielding seven candidates in the election, and is hoping to (not literally) decapitate Peter Lilley, Vince Cable, Tessa Jowell and Sir Malcolm Rifkind.
The Citizens for Undead Rights and Equality (CURE) are campaigning to give the undead equal rights to the living, to make cemeteries more comfortable for their inhabitants, to invest in the discovery of a cure for Zombie bites, to increase the minimum statutory retirement age to beyond dead and to permit the marriage of living and the undead.
"The general election isn't just about the spiralling national debt, national insurance contributions or cancer treatments," they say.
"It's about recognising the undead as citizens of this country. There is no doubt the Zombie plague is coming. Only by planning now can we ensure mankind's long-term survival."
Calling for an end to "the exploitation of Zombies", they add: "They may be undead, but they're still people too."
The party argues that British culture "has misrepresented the undead: they are seen as violent, aggressive and disposable".
"We believe we should be trying to find a cure for anyone infected by an undead bite. Ahead of this, we’re campaigning for equal rights for the undead."
The party is fielding candidates in Brighton Pavilion, Hertford and Stortford, Hitchin & Harpenden, Twickenham, Dulwich & West Norwood, Kensington and Doncaster Central.
The CURE website is at http://www.votecure.com
Dods Parliamentary Communications Ltd