Young people fear parents' reaction to HIV

28 November 2011

Red Cross survey reveals one in three young people in the UK fears their parents would react negatively to them – becoming angry, judging disapprovingly or outright rejecting them - if they told them they were HIV positive, a new survey from the British Red Cross reveals.

And in a further sign that stigma attached to HIV is still strong, almost one in five said their parents wouldn't want them to tell anyone else if they had the disease.

The results of the survey of 1,500 11-24-year-olds come as the charity launches a celebrity-backed digital campaign at www.redcross.org.uk/worldaidsday, addressing the stigma and the isolation young people living with HIV can feel, to coincide with World Aids Day (Dec 1).

“Some of the findings from this survey have been so sad,” said Alyson Lewis, British Red Cross lead on HIV.

“It's heartbreaking to think that young people could feel so scaredabout people's reactions to HIV that they couldn't even tell their parents.

“It's vitally important that we break this stigma and that people are able to feel that their friends and families would be there for them.”

Musician Annie Lennox, comedian Stephen K. Amos, T4's Georgie Okell and former Eastenders actor Chris Parker all appear in a Red Cross online video which asks viewers if they could be the one their friends turn to.

The video also features the story of a young person living with HIV and the isolation he suffered at not feeling able to talk to anyone. Asking young people how their parents would react if they told them they were HIV positive, the Red Cross survey uncovered remarkable gender differences, with young women and girls (23%) significantly more likely to fear being judged negatively by their parents than young men or boys (16%).

However, some findings were reassuring that stigma is being overcome; more than half of those questioned (51%), said their parents would listen to them and respect their needs, and more than two-thirds (69%) said their parents would love them whatever happens.

“It is definitely not all bad news,” added Alyson Lewis.

“The lack of a supportive relationship for people living with HIV can increase their sense of isolation, but those walls are coming down.

“Having the support of someone close can make a huge difference and help build resilience against HIV. That's why we're asking everyone: 'if someone close told you they were HIV positive, would you be there for them?'”

In their own words

The Red Cross spoke to some young people living with HIV, the quotes below are some of what they told us:

“If someone had died, or if I had cancer, I'd have felt able to reach out immediately to anyone around me – whereas now I had to think about how people would respond and whether I could cope with their response."

"I felt very isolated and abandoned once told my status. I really wanted to stay with someone that night instead of going home on my own, butdidn't feel I could call anyone close to me because of the stigma around HIV."

"My mum told me to never ever tell anyone in the family, and that made me feel very alone – she took that decision away from me. There's a lot of secret and lies and it would be nice to be truthful."

“I was worried about telling my mum because I feared she'd be over-bearing and overly concerned, but she was amazing. She looked shocked, but then said: 'You're still my son and I love you – you can tell me anything and I'll stand by you through it all'. She gave me the confidence to tell others."

"The first person I told was my friend, who was also HIV positive. I knew he'd understand and be supportive, and that's what I was hoping for. I didn't want to be judged: I wanted to be understood. It was such a big relief telling someone, a huge burden off my shoulders"I realise now that I was holding on to all the pressure rather than letting other people deal with it themselves. I can't control how they will react and it's too much pressure to try."

"Coming out about my status has bought me back to myself: I don't feel I'm hiding part of myself or holding on to this secret. I'm able to be more relaxed, both with myself and other people."

Notes:

For more information on the British Red Cross please visit: http://www.redcross.org.ukor follow us on Twitter at: www.twitter.com/britishredcross

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